


I Am The Nothing You Have Saved

by asllapiscu



Category: Kamen Rider Build
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Spoilers for episode 46+ Just In Case, thanks toei and mr muto for the kazugen juice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 11:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15929207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asllapiscu/pseuds/asllapiscu
Summary: Volunteering to clean would usually mean exactly that; picking up and scrubbing and putting things away - "cleaning." It shouldn't also mean "confession time on the roof before an important battle."Yet somehow, it does.





	I Am The Nothing You Have Saved

The rooftop barbecue was a success. Everyone seemed tired if only because of the work put into this last minute party and how late it has become. Misora and Ryuga looked ready to fall victim to a food coma; Sento looked somber and far too lost in thought for his own good; and Sawa seemed to have an anxiety of the sun coming back up. Trying to host one final hurrah before the big finale of the world was supposed to be a fun thing. But the looming thought of the end and their battles to come still left them with stress. It ate away at their chipper moods as the realities of the next day would just creep in.

Gentoku and Kazumi took notice of the effect it had on everyone.

They’ve both been cleaning up since the party ended, and insisted on it so the others could rest. Only Sawa and Sento had thought anything of it, but Kazumi had said over and over that it’s nothing, really.

But it still made Gentoku a little nervous, truthfully.

While they cleaned, Gentoku knew Kazumi had a lot on his mind. It's easy to see as he scrubbed the grills, with how furrowed his brows looked. Gentoku figures it must be important, if Kazumi needed to wear such a serious expression after a cheerful night.

But what is most surprising is how after just a few moments, Kazumi stops his scrubbing suddenly. His expression is still serious, but is melting into something more intimate.

“When this is all over, you should become a politician again.”

Ah, so that’s what this is about.

“I don't deserve to lead this country,” Gentoku starts, his heart heavy. His sins haunt him and whisper to him about how undeserving he is to be a leader, especially one like his father. Kazumi’s insistence on this matter always left Gentoku feeling guilty. “I’ve done too much to be so easily forgiven.”

“Hey,” Kazumi shoves a piece of coal in front of Gentoku’s face. He takes a step back out of surprise, watching only a hint of a smile growing on Kazumi’s face. “If it means anything, I’ve forgiven you.”

Gentoku stops his own scrubbing and fully faces Kazumi, who’s now wearing a soft but pensive expression.He nearly chuckles, rubbing his nose for a split second as an attempt to hide the growing smile.

It doesn’t work.

“I think you’d do a fine job of following your dad’s footsteps.”

“You place… a lot of faith in me,” Gentoku tries to look anywhere but at Kazumi. He drops a stone from the grill into the bucket of water between them, watching it sizzle out and cool down. He can hear Kazumi laughing beside him.

“You’ve given me plenty of reason for that faith. Is it that hard to believe?” When Gentoku looks at Kazumi again, he’s wearing a confident smile. It’s stabilizing and brings Gentoku back down to reality and away from his more self destructive thoughts. 

“I… don’t know,” he begins, putting the tongs onto the grill and looking up towards the night sky. Guilt begins to grow and fester within his chest, feeling heavy and overwhelming. He can never express how grateful he is that Kazumi and the others have really accepted Gentoku as one of their own. In fact, he had never expected to even be here at all. He was so sure he was going to stay as his father’s scapegoat while he rebuilt the country, and he was content with that. But now…

“We agreed back then, didn’t we?” Kazumi places a hand on Gentoku’s shoulder, but he doesn’t look back at him again this time. He knows Kazumi is looking up at the night sky now too. “We’d risk our lives as Kamen Riders to save this planet. No matter what.”

“Right,” Gentoku starts, but he feels Kazumi pull him around to face him. There’s something indescribable in his eyes, but Gentoku can recognize that passion from a mile away. It’s the same look Kazumi wears right before any battle, with that same  _ “Feel my burning passion!”  _ demeanor. It’s that look in his eyes that makes Gentoku wary whenever they find themselves alone together, because maybe he thinks they’re too hard to resist.

“Promise me, Beardo,” Kazumi grabs one of Gentoku’s hands and brings it up. He clasps both his hands around Gentoku’s and stares deeply into his eyes, making him nervous. “Come out of this alive and rebuild this country. You have to.”

Gentoku’s eyes widen, especially as he feels Kazumi squeeze his grip on his hand. The fire in his eyes grow brighter, and Gentoku can tell he’s deathly serious. He hadn’t seen this look since Kazumi suggested they raise their hazard levels.

“We went into this knowing we could die… Why are you asking me to live?”

“This country is going to need a leader. It has to be you,” Kazumi finally looks away for a moment, letting go of Gentoku’s hands. “If anyone needs to live after this, it's you.”

Something in Gentoku’s chest reacts to those words and he starts to feel self conscious. This isn't how he expected clean up to go. But he coughs and looks back up towards the sky.

“Then you need to promise me you'll live too,” Gentoku can hear Kazumi shift quickly, and his laughter ringing in the night air.

“What do I need to live for? As long as the world's still spinning, I'm fine.”

“We won't be,” Gentoku answers fast enough, trying to bite back the real answer. He feels the same nervousness from before shoot up in his chest, still refusing to meet Kazumi's eye. “You need to live just as much. What's a potato farm without its farmer, anyway?”

“Are you serious right now?” Kazumi’s voice sounded like it cracked there for a moment, before he continued laughing. “I almost thought you were getting sentimental on me for a second there…”

“You started it,” Gentoku countered as he goes back to clearing off the grills. He can feel Kazumi staring at him though. “What?”

“Yeah, I guess you're right, I did start this,” his voice sounds somber and low. He approaches the other man, his face nothing short of determination. It surprises Gentoku and he's not ready for what's about to come next. “Gentoku…”

Gentoku takes a sharp inhale and braces himself. To hear his name come out of Kazumi's mouth, and not  _ Beardo… _

Then they both hear the latch to the door of the roof open, with Sawa on the other side of it. They snap their necks over to her, as she smiles and waves at them.

“I thought you two would need help, but maybe I should leave?”

“I-It’s not what it looks like!” Kazumi tries to fight against his stuttering and Sawa’s giggles but Gentoku enjoys seeing the red suddenly flare up on his face.

Ah, that's what this is. This is what he's been fighting for, isn't it? Not just to rebuild the country and realize his father’s dream, but also for…

“I'll just leave you and Gen-san then, bye bye!”

“Sawa-san! I'm serious!”

She keeps giggling as she waves them goodbye, going through the door. It's silent now between the two as the  _ clank! _ of the door echoes through the night. Gentoku can still feel his face warming up at the memory of Kazumi referring to him by his name and the look he gave him when he said it.

Should he say Kazumi's name in return then?

“Now I lost the mood…” Kazumi mutters to himself, thinking it was low enough for no one to hear. A bad habit of his, thinking his internal thoughts stay that way. But it’s enough to give Gentoku that extra push to dare to be bold in the same way Kazumi was just moments before.

“Kazumi,” when he says it, the other man slowly turns to look his way. Kazumi’s eyes, though typically dark (and alluring), now shined as bright as the stars above. It’s an interesting sight, seeing the shift in expression go from disappointed and frustrated to, well, amazed. “You said you started something.”

He’s nearly startled by Gentoku’s suggestion, but when recognition seems to pass through his eyes… Gentoku thinks he understood. Because within the next few moments, Kazumi is standing before Gentoku again, and he can’t help but take in a deep breath. 

“When we save the world and come out of this alive… I’ll finish this,” he says it with a smile, before lightly punching Gentoku’s shoulder. In a way, Gentoku’s heart sinks but he also feels… relieved. A promise like this ensures that Kazumi will at least  _ try _ to stay alive. In the end, it’s all Gentoku wants.

“You promise?” He finds himself asking regardless, because his nerves won’t rest without it. He’s been through this many times before, and he knows the risks of all this. They could very well die tomorrow - they originally said it was fine, so long as the world is saved. Because they’re Kamen Riders, it’s what should matter most. But deep down, Gentoku wants Kazumi to come out smiling. There will definitely be scars and cuts and bruises - but as long as Kazumi is alive and smiling, and the world is safe…

“Promise me, Kazumi.”

“Geez, when you keep using my name like that, it’s hard not to, you know?” They both know he’s deflecting, but Kazumi shrugs before grabbing Gentoku’s collar. He pulls him in close to his face, and Gentoku’s eyes widen in surprise. “Gentoku Himuro, I promise to stay alive, so long as you do.”

They don’t exchange any more words that night, their lips meeting instead to convey any lingering thoughts. They stay like that for a while, close and savoring each other, before they part and resume their cleaning. They both feel as though enough was said already.

Besides, Gentoku intends to hold Kazumi to that promise. They’ll come out of this war alive - and say what weights on his heart. 

_ Thank you for placing your faith in me, potato farmer. _

**Author's Note:**

> we needed more kazugen and i will Always deliver. this may or may not connect with another piece i'm writing for later :)
> 
> find me still crying over build on twitter @/mythxl, I'm still taking kofi requests too!!!


End file.
